The best-named and most-unique ‘run’ in the country opened yesterday – The Smoothie. I bumped into an old guy who said he’d heard of it for decades but had never put tracks down on it. In the parking lot I befriended a city guy who said he just loved the tranquility of this Valley. He got my overly precise directions on how and when to ride it.
Smoothie Sign
The Smoothie is unlike anything you’ve ever skied before. It’s a lot easier and incredibly wide-open. If I had to guess I’d say it’s a half a square mile of terrain minimum. You have to maintain some wits about you as this is natural backcountry terrain (no groomers, etc.). But if you ski with your eyes open it’s one of the most pleasant experiences in skiing this side of soloing Sonora Pass or other classic California spring schusses.
Acres and Acres of Farmland...
We’ll get into ‘corn’ skiing once this most recent April storm cycle passes. Suffice it to say that corn in Iowa and corn in Tahoe are both huge beneficiaries of proper farming techniques. Squaw Ski Patrol runs the show on farming the Smoothie and with a usual closing time of 10am it stays fresh for weeks at a time. See you on the traverse…!
So this past Monday was the Jobless Set’s turn to enjoy the insane conditions that we’ve had since…oh let’s say December! The 500′ vertical swath of terrain known as ‘The Palisades’ opened fresh this morning and I saw everyone from the unemployment line except they were all in duct-taped ski gear. It was a hoot. A jobless, careless, reckless hoot. Saw one 60′ air (Dan Scarcia who wimped out of doing it twice) and no takers on the Chimney which was open for a half hour while I was up there (tough exit bump). All the other landings in Extra, The Box, etc. were all perfect and the traverse line at the bottom didn’t claim many victims who crossed it high speeds. On the other side, Kitchen Wall cooked nicely. There were lots of hoots and some decent hollers. I love it when strangers cheer on strangers!
Flat to Fat...the 'Sades
We’ve gotten it soooo good this season. If you don’t remember any 3′ pow days well that’s probably because there weren’t many but we we’ve had so many rediculously sweet weeks in a row. It’s been a skiers’ winter. Sometimes in January I have to write a piece titled “The Doldrums” or something like that but this year hasn’t been that way at all.
Here’s another video from my man Miles Clark. He has been crushing it this season. I’m hoping that getting a pair of his skis (Atomic Atlas) will make me better – ha ha!
Here’s how he described what you are about to see:
“Okay, this really was the best day of the year (Th. 3/4/2010). Crazy dry snow, landings very filled in, cold temperatures, and plenty of sunshine. I just skied by myself today. It was actually kinda nice. I just looked at my list of lines to ski for the day and went after ‘em! Truly an unbelievable day that I don’t think I’ll soon forget!
In here you’ll find: Chamber Cliff, Adrenaline Rock (twice), The Drifter, The Sisters, Deadmans Chute, a new double I just tried for the first time on The Fingers, Broken Back Rock, The Booger, and more!”
Today began the first-ever big-money game of GNAR, another hilarious brainchild of Shane McConkey. You can find GNAR in Robb Gaffney’s absolutely incredible book, Squallywood. If you spend any amount of time up here, especially at Squaw, you need to have a copy. It explains the craziest lines at Squaw with detailed directions on how to ski them. Each line is ranked according to difficulty, the pitch of the slope is measured, etc. This book is an eye-opener for those who will never ski these lines and more importantly it’s a how-to guide for those with the skills but without the mountain knowledge.
Judge Robb Gaffney overjoyed that GNAR is on; competitors in background
The funniest part is the bonus chapter by Shane McConkey, renowned prankster and humorist. Oh yeah, he was the best skier since Scot Schmidt. Oops, he also re-invented skiing…twice. Anyway, his section at the end goes something like this: “Pushing, shoving, kicking, punching and biting are all necessary tactics for a good day of fun on a Squaw powder day. (O)n a testing ground of such incomprehensible sickness and with a cast of riders so loaded with talent how does anyone compare themselves? Through competition and with points naturally!” Thus is born the game of G.N.A.R., Gaffney’s Numerical Assessment of Radness.
Roving filmer J.T. Holmes interviews competitor Jamie Blair on a chair. Jamie was apologizing to his mom for straightlining Extra Chute in the Palisades while talking to her on the phone...for bonus points
The game being played currently goes until March 20 and the winner gets $25,000. There are 20 competitors with helmet cams, 8 – 10 roaming film crews and spotters on each lift to identify competitors. The coolest thing is that the game is making these 20 hand-picked athletes ski like they never have before. They have to do it for 10 days and they are being forced to have a good time while attempting the incredible ski lines described in the Squallywood. The good times are pranks that creator Shane thought were hysterical and they earn competitors bonus points. Like skiing a line then going up to a group of strangers who watched and say, “I’m the best skier on the mountain.” Or hit another competitor with a snowball once they’ve pushed off into a line. Or call your mom and keep her on the phone while you straightline the Palisades. The list goes on forever but suffice it to say that today there were numerous guys cooking real breakfasts in the KT line, some of them got there at 4:30am to get first chair, and a number of ‘regular’ skiers wore one-piece suits so competitors could spot them for extra points. Keep your eyes out for some antics on the hill…
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